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Monday: Buy tees. Tuesday: Buy tees.Torn-Open Packet with One Golf Peg Left, Funny Golf Gift

Thursday night, and they're watching a swing tutorial on the sofa, phone propped against the fruit bowl, practising the takeaway with the TV remote. Give it at Christmas, or after a first hole-in-one, or the near miss they'll describe for years. The remote has never been so well coached.

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