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Retirement goal: find out who signed…Open Leaving Card with a Magnifying Glass, Funny Retirement Gift

They'll unwrap it, chuckle, then start squinting at the handwriting of everyone they ever shared a stapler with. It's for the new retiree who still has their lanyard in a drawer, knows the canteen's Friday menu by heart and once ran the tea kitty. Pop it in the office collection. Kev, wisely, is saying nothing.

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